Dear Facebook, Enough With The Dating Ads

One of my all-time favorite business books (on a topic that often leaves people divided) is Inside Network Marketing by Leonard Clements. There is a section where he posts real recruiting ads that are too hilarious to be true, along with some witty responses. Ads such as “Don’t Call This Number” (there was no number listed), “Ground Floor Opportunity” (for a 125-year-old company), and “Pays 100% on Level Six” (no explanation necessary). While I may not be as witty as Mr. Clements, I’d like to offer up some responses to the slew of internet dating ads that have been cropping up on Facebook more than I’d prefer them to.

“Over 25 and Single?”
This company obviously has no time to waste, and is cutting down on work by reusing their targeting preferences as the title of their ad!

“Meet Single Christians!”
No thanks. I’m Jewish. You were able to figure out my age from my profile, why not my religious affiliation too?

“Meet Single Men!”
WTF. Can’t they at least datamine my profile correctly?

“Stop. Stare. Flirt.”
I thought it was rude to stare? I must be living under a rock!

“Looking for a Girlfriend?”
This approach feels kind of like being propositioned to buy drugs at a rock concert. (“Pssst! Hey you! Looking for a girlfriend?”)

“She’s Feeling Lonely!”
If finding a date on the internet is the only way to stop you from feeling lonely, then perhaps it’s time to turn the computer off!

“Get Lucky!”
Get herpes, too! No extra charge.

“Peek at Private Pics!”
Guess they aren’t so private, eh?

“Think You’re a Player?”
No. I don’t. Besides, what kind of woman wants to date a player, anyway?

“26 and Still Single?”
Is that a bad thing? (Has anyone who has seen this ad seen it say “18 and Still Single?” I am rather curious.)

“Date Single Women!”
As opposed to dating married women? Hmm…

“I Think She Likes You!”
Great, I’ve got a stalker!

“Meet Single BBW Girls!”
No comment.

“Is Dating A Nightmare?”
Truth in advertising, perhaps?

“Meet Interesting People!”
What an amazing concept!

“Meet Gorgeously Beautiful Women!”
Let’s be realistic.

“Don’t have a girlfriend?”
This is internet marketing at its best!

Good advice, but what does a picture of a girl with giant cleavage have to do with it?

“I Hate Online Dating!”
Me too, and that’s why I don’t do it anymore!