I’m by no means an expert on this kind of thing, but part of the joy of being single is reading dozens and dozens of internet dating profiles trying to find someone with common interests and goals. OKCupid is a great website for this. Some profiles are well thought out; others not so much. Here are a few things I see time and time again that should probably be avoided on your journey to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
1. I Don’t Have Time For This!
Part of internet dating is taking the time to fill out your profile. That means not only answering all of the “multiple choice” questions, but also making time to provide some insight into who you are. One sentence answers, or the all-to common cries of “I hate doing these things” or “I don’t have time for this” give the impression that you simply don’t care to make the time. You cannot expect someone else to make time for you when you can’t take a few minutes to fill out your own profile.
2. The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit is… Nothing!
This answer demonstrates your inability to comprehend the question being asked. There’s no shame in not wanting to admit anything private. However, that’s not exactly what this question is asking. Let’s break this question down to illustrate this point:
- Start off with all the things you’re willing to admit. This includes everything; even things as simple as “I’m a white female,” “I’m five feet tall,” and “I like dubstep”. Some of these things may be a little private, and many will not.
- Determine the most private thing on this list. Maybe there’s nothing incredibly private you want to admit. That’s OK. But unless you aren’t willing to admit anything about yourself at all – there is a “most private” item on the list out of all the many things about yourself. It could be something like “I wear mismatched socks,” or as benign as “I tend to hit the snooze button on my alarm more often than not.”
To recap, this question is not asking whether you’re willing to admit anything private. It’s merely asking you to pick one item from the list of all of things you would admit about yourself, and share it. This is not a difficult concept to grasp! Just because you don’t want to openly admit that you like the kinky stuff doesn’t mean you can’t answer this question.
3. Don’t Message Me If…
I get it. You don’t like being approached by men for internet booty calls. However, in the amount of time you spent preparing this section of your profile, you could have taken the time to write a message to a decent guy who’s not just looking to hook up with you! Now there’s an idea.
No amount of warning text is going to completely stop some men from engaging in this type of communication. The only result from adding an angry “don’t message me if…” to the end of your profile is that you end up sounding like a bitch. Is it worth scaring away good potential matches?
4. Cliche Answers That Don’t Really Explain Much About Yourself
I like to go out on a Friday night, but I also like staying in. I’m a laid back person. Family and friends are important to me. My kids are my world. I like long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. I like to get dressed up, but I also like wearing PJs. I’m a nice girl looking for a nice guy. And the list goes on. Pick your favorite cliche, and replace it with something more interesting so you don’t sound like everyone else!
5. A Profile Full of Shorthand and Spelling Mistakes
A dating profile, like a social networking profile, is not a real-time form of communication. You can take as much time as you need to prepare it. You shouldn’t apply for a job without proofreading your resume; your profile deserves the same respect. Just as it’s a turn off when a woman can’t take the time to completely fill out her profile, it’s also a huge turn off when she can’t take the time to spell correctly, or half the profile is written in shorthand abbreviations. If your web browser does not have spell check features built in, you can always use Microsoft Word. The few minutes you spend cleaning up your spelling and grammar will be well worth it when making an impression on a potential suitor.