Posted by Jon on Jul 28, 2008 in
Serious Business For the last several weeks I have been noticing calls on my phone from "Unavailable" coming up while I was sleeping on an almost daily basis. The caller did not leave a message during any of the many times this happened. I was just about to go to bed and my phone rang… it was them!
I picked up the phone and was greeted by an employee who was obviously reading from a script, talking at a mile a minute, slurring her words. I was half asleep, and it sounded like she was asking me to confirm some information about my Discover merchant account, and that a packet of information would be mailed out to me.
She started reading me terms and conditions as fast as possible, and as incomprehensible as possible. Eventually I thought I heard something about a fee. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. Can you please repeat that, because you were talking way too fast? She apologized for talking fast and then read it again, just as fast. I asked her straight out if I'm going to be charged anything and she explains (a bit slower this time) that there is a $49.95 enrollment fee for a premium services package. Knowing that I definitely don't need this, I stopped her right there and told her to please not make any more sales calls to me ever again.
If you work in sales, there are some simple lessons that can be learned from this:
1.) Don't talk so damn fast!
2.) Try to sound like a human, not a robot reading a script!
3.) If you are going to sell me something, and don't do #1 and #2, even if I actually do need your product the answer is probably going to be NO!
4.) If you call me over twenty times, don't leave a message, and continue to call again, you're not going to be dealing with a receptive customer!
It's no wonder these types of jobs are becoming more susceptible to offshoring.
UPDATE: It turns out this was one of their "business partners" that called me. I called up Discover and requested that they refrain from sending me third-party solicitations.
Tags: discover, fail, merchant, telemarketing
Posted by Jon on Jul 27, 2008 in
Social Not-Working One of my all-time favorite business books (on a topic that often leaves people divided) is Inside Network Marketing by Leonard Clements. There is a section where he posts real recruiting ads that are too hilarious to be true, along with some witty responses. Ads such as "Don't Call This Number" (there was no number listed), "Ground Floor Opportunity" (for a 125-year-old company), and "Pays 100% on Level Six" (no explanation necessary). While I may not be as witty as Mr. Clements, I'd like to offer up some responses to the slew of internet dating ads that have been cropping up on Facebook more than I'd prefer them to.
"Over 25 and Single?"
This company obviously has no time to waste, and is cutting down on work by reusing their targeting preferences as the title of their ad!
"Meet Single Christians!"
No thanks. I'm Jewish. You were able to figure out my age from my profile, why not my religious affiliation too?
"Meet Single Men!"
WTF. Can't they at least datamine my profile correctly?
"Stop. Stare. Flirt."
I thought it was rude to stare? I must be living under a rock!
"Looking for a Girlfriend?"
This approach feels kind of like being propositioned to buy drugs at a rock concert. ("Pssst! Hey you! Looking for a girlfriend?")
"She's Feeling Lonely!"
If finding a date on the internet is the only way to stop you from feeling lonely, then perhaps it's time to turn the computer off!
"Get Lucky!"
Get herpes, too! No extra charge.
"Peek at Private Pics!"
Guess they aren't so private, eh?
"Think You're a Player?"
No. I don't. Besides, what kind of woman wants to date a player, anyway?
"26 and Still Single?"
Is that a bad thing? (Has anyone who has seen this ad seen it say "18 and Still Single?" I am rather curious.)
"Date Single Women!"
As opposed to dating married women? Hmm…
"I Think She Likes You!"
Great, I've got a stalker!
"Meet Single BBW Girls!"
No comment.
"Is Dating A Nightmare?"
Truth in advertising, perhaps?
"Meet Interesting People!"
What an amazing concept!
"Meet Gorgeously Beautiful Women!"
Let's be realistic.
"Don't have a girlfriend?"
This is internet marketing at its best!
"Socialize!"
Good advice, but what does a picture of a girl with giant cleavage have to do with it?
"I Hate Online Dating!"
Me too, and that's why I don't do it anymore!
Tags: advertising, dating, facebook, fail, humor
Posted by Jon on Jul 27, 2008 in
Serious Business What is entrepreneurship? In the traditional sense of the word, it is starting your own business; creating something out of nothing. To me it's more than that, though. When most people think of an entrepreneur they think of someone in a suit and tie, perhaps in an office board meeting. In my little world, that's not what it means to be an entrepreneur.
To me, being an entrepreneur is about freedom. It's about not having to wake up to an alarm clock. It's about wearing whatever you feel like, not an uncomfortable suit and tie. It's about being your own boss, creating your own rules, and owning your own time. It's about planning your work around your day, instead of planning your day around your work. And most of all, it's about having the power to make your dreams come true.
When I was 12, I started my first business, writing a newsletter and selling copies for a quarter each. I was ridiculed by many of my classmates, but all the while I was gaining valuable business experience while enjoying my work.
At the age of 17 I watched a video that would change my outlook on careers completely. I learned how time is our most valuable resource, and that most of the population trades their time for money in order to make a living. This barter of time for dollars has its limits, as there are only so many hours in a day. Only by creating leverage from other people's time and talent can one escape this "rat race" and transcend the time-for-money mentality.
After turning 20 I soon became financially independent and dropped out of college to be an entrepreneur full-time. I received a lot of criticism from friends and family for making this choice, but it did not stop me from trying to achieve my dreams.
Now I'm 26 and it's hard to imagine what the future will hold. A few short years ago I ran around trying to preach to the world the advantages of being an entrepreneur, only to be ignored by most. Now I sit quietly watching the world go by, and think to myself that I must have done something right to get to where I am today.
Tags: business, dreams, entrepreneurship, freedom, thoughts