Posted by Jon on Jul 2, 2009 in
Serious Business I've been using American Express for many years now. Their rewards program is one of the best – you can redeem your rewards points for many items, including Dell certificates. I have used these certificates to save a lot of money on purchasing new computers and accessories over the years. I recently redeemed my points for a $100 gift certificate to use on a Radeon X1550 video card. Unfortunately, after spending two entire days trying to get the card to work, I didn't have much luck.
After calling Dell I was told that I would need to pay a $50 diagnostics fee in order for them to assist, since my system was no longer under warranty. I have purchased several computers from Dell in the last decade, and have never called them for tech support once, but a policy's a policy I suppose. I opted to return the video card to them instead of paying an extra $50.
Today I checked my credit card statement and saw I was refunded $27. The cost of the video card was originally $127, but I had used a $100 gift certificate toward it. After calling Dell they told me that the gift certificate could not be re-used or re-issued, and that I needed to contact Amex for a new one. I called Amex and they told me the exact opposite – that they purchase these certificates from Dell, and that Dell needs to give me a new one.
At this point I was rather furious. I called Dell a second time, and once again was told the same thing. The gift certificate is gone, and they won't allow me to re-use it or give me a new one. Now I was steaming. I called Amex again, and talked to another representative. I told him the entire situation, and this time around he told me that they'd issue me a new gift certificate! Even though Dell was passing the buck, American Express went out of their way to uphold their reputation. While it wasn't Amex's fault, the fact that they made good really impresses me.
After redeeming this replacement certificate, I do not plan on doing any more business with Dell. It is a shame that they'd rather lose a lifelong customer instead of making good on a gift certificate. If only Dell could take a cue from American Express – and treat their customers with the same respect!
Tags: american express, credit card, dell, fail
Posted by Jon on Jul 28, 2008 in
Serious Business For the last several weeks I have been noticing calls on my phone from "Unavailable" coming up while I was sleeping on an almost daily basis. The caller did not leave a message during any of the many times this happened. I was just about to go to bed and my phone rang… it was them!
I picked up the phone and was greeted by an employee who was obviously reading from a script, talking at a mile a minute, slurring her words. I was half asleep, and it sounded like she was asking me to confirm some information about my Discover merchant account, and that a packet of information would be mailed out to me.
She started reading me terms and conditions as fast as possible, and as incomprehensible as possible. Eventually I thought I heard something about a fee. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. Can you please repeat that, because you were talking way too fast? She apologized for talking fast and then read it again, just as fast. I asked her straight out if I'm going to be charged anything and she explains (a bit slower this time) that there is a $49.95 enrollment fee for a premium services package. Knowing that I definitely don't need this, I stopped her right there and told her to please not make any more sales calls to me ever again.
If you work in sales, there are some simple lessons that can be learned from this:
1.) Don't talk so damn fast!
2.) Try to sound like a human, not a robot reading a script!
3.) If you are going to sell me something, and don't do #1 and #2, even if I actually do need your product the answer is probably going to be NO!
4.) If you call me over twenty times, don't leave a message, and continue to call again, you're not going to be dealing with a receptive customer!
It's no wonder these types of jobs are becoming more susceptible to offshoring.
UPDATE: It turns out this was one of their "business partners" that called me. I called up Discover and requested that they refrain from sending me third-party solicitations.
Tags: discover, fail, merchant, telemarketing
Posted by Jon on Jul 27, 2008 in
Social Not-Working One of my all-time favorite business books (on a topic that often leaves people divided) is Inside Network Marketing by Leonard Clements. There is a section where he posts real recruiting ads that are too hilarious to be true, along with some witty responses. Ads such as "Don't Call This Number" (there was no number listed), "Ground Floor Opportunity" (for a 125-year-old company), and "Pays 100% on Level Six" (no explanation necessary). While I may not be as witty as Mr. Clements, I'd like to offer up some responses to the slew of internet dating ads that have been cropping up on Facebook more than I'd prefer them to.
"Over 25 and Single?"
This company obviously has no time to waste, and is cutting down on work by reusing their targeting preferences as the title of their ad!
"Meet Single Christians!"
No thanks. I'm Jewish. You were able to figure out my age from my profile, why not my religious affiliation too?
"Meet Single Men!"
WTF. Can't they at least datamine my profile correctly?
"Stop. Stare. Flirt."
I thought it was rude to stare? I must be living under a rock!
"Looking for a Girlfriend?"
This approach feels kind of like being propositioned to buy drugs at a rock concert. ("Pssst! Hey you! Looking for a girlfriend?")
"She's Feeling Lonely!"
If finding a date on the internet is the only way to stop you from feeling lonely, then perhaps it's time to turn the computer off!
"Get Lucky!"
Get herpes, too! No extra charge.
"Peek at Private Pics!"
Guess they aren't so private, eh?
"Think You're a Player?"
No. I don't. Besides, what kind of woman wants to date a player, anyway?
"26 and Still Single?"
Is that a bad thing? (Has anyone who has seen this ad seen it say "18 and Still Single?" I am rather curious.)
"Date Single Women!"
As opposed to dating married women? Hmm…
"I Think She Likes You!"
Great, I've got a stalker!
"Meet Single BBW Girls!"
No comment.
"Is Dating A Nightmare?"
Truth in advertising, perhaps?
"Meet Interesting People!"
What an amazing concept!
"Meet Gorgeously Beautiful Women!"
Let's be realistic.
"Don't have a girlfriend?"
This is internet marketing at its best!
"Socialize!"
Good advice, but what does a picture of a girl with giant cleavage have to do with it?
"I Hate Online Dating!"
Me too, and that's why I don't do it anymore!
Tags: advertising, dating, facebook, fail, humor